A few years ago my work invited me to tell my #BoldForChange story for our International Women’s Day event. It’s really a story about being resilient in tough times. I know 2020 has been a difficult year for many of us so I thought instead of writing about software delivery or business agility as I normally do, I’ll share my story with you in case it may be helpful for someone. Here it is!
Bravery comes in many different guises. From picking yourself up when things haven’t gone well to jumping out of an aeroplane and skydiving (that is something I will never do!). I think bravery is fundamental to being #BoldForChange, even if we don’t recognise it at the time. My #BoldForChange story is about a pivotal time in my life that stopped my IT career in its tracks, and, at the same time, gave me skills that moved it forward.
I was very much enjoying my developer career when about 12 years ago I divorced. Suddenly I became an unemployed single mother with two children (my ex-husband was also my boss). It was a difficult situation as I had a mortgage and two youngish children to support, no family in this country to help out and the employment market at the time was pretty dire with hundreds of people applying for the same job. Part time development work wasn’t available locally either. Prospective employers told me they weren’t prepared to offer me their office admin jobs as I was overqualified, would get bored and leave. To cut a long story short, the only job I was offered was working on the refunds desk of a large national department store. At the time it felt like a massive step backwards career wise, but one I did not hesitate to take.
This role turned out to be the most stressful one I’ve ever had! Customers would shout, insult and throw things at me on a weekly basis in order to get refunds they weren’t entitled to, normally in front of an audience of other customers. I soon developed skills in dealing with conflict, communication, diplomacy, problem solving and reading body language. I also looked for opportunities to challenge myself within the role such as volunteering to oversee the installation of the new ordering system and train everyone on its use. These skills were instrumental in me succeeding in getting my first Software Testing role three years later when my children were old enough to be on their own a little while. They were even more useful when I became a Development Manager a few years after that and latterly an Agility and Quality Coach. Raising two teenagers as a single parent also develops these skills!
The point I’m trying to make is: be brave and resilient, make the most of whatever situation you are in, look for opportunities, and recognise the valuable transferable skills that come from life experiences. Be ok with the fact that the job you need right now may look quite different to the one you just left or lost.
I love this TED talk on raising brave girls and why bravery needs to be practised. If you have a spare 13 minutes, have a listen – http://www.ted.com/talks/caroline_paul_to_raise_brave_girls_encourage_adventure#t-749471
